Saturday, September 26, 2015

It's a Top Ten List for Ninjas Thing

I've been thinking about this blog for a couple of weeks now. I really did want to get something out there about my most recent accomplishment, but I wasn't entirely sure I wanted it to be one of those feel-good, gooey blogs. I could write about how much power your mind has over your body, or how I set my sights on 4th degree after my breast cancer diagnosis 5 years ago, or how I trained so hard the test was not easy by any means, but not near as hard as I thought because I'd prepared myself well. Or even how I know there are things I need to work on and want to improve. There's all sorts of ways this blog could go. I settled on a Top 10 list type of blog. So here it is:

My Top 10 List for Ninjas
10) Be pink. Ninjas can't be seen because, well they're ninjas. So wearing pink won't give you away. And pink is a tough color to  pull off, so only the best ninjas can wear pink and wear it well.

9) Train hard. And then train some more because someone will eventually record you and you will instantly know you have to train even harder. So just get used to it.

8) Pet a cat. Cats have natural ninja power. The more you pet a cat, the more ninja vibe you can extract from them. Don't worry. Their power regenerates nightly. You know because they use it to wake you the following morning for breakfast.

7) Spar a kid. Not just any kid; choose wisely. Nothing makes you better at sparring than getting your butt kicked by a kid half your size and 3 decades younger than you.

6) Find your groove. It's easy to get caught up in all kinds of diet fads, but ninjas need energy therefore the logic would follow that ninjas need cake. And pizza. And chocolate.

5) Get gross. Get used to being gross. Get used to taking lots of showers and doing lots of laundry (unless you live in California).

4) Skip the doctor. Unless it's serious, while you're in training you gotta suck up the soreness, strained muscles, and bruises. The doctor will only laugh and shake his head at you in disbelief that a normal person would do this to themselves.

3) Recruit the doctor's kids. This way you can skip No. 4 and go to the doctor because he will now understand. You can laugh and shake your head at him.

2) Get a pedicure. Nothing pampers a ninjas feet more than a pedicure. And cute nail polish - don't forget the nail polish.

1) Write a blog. Chronicle your journey somehow. After all, people love reading about a complete stranger's exploits in becoming a ninja.

But probably my overall advice for ninjas - don't take yourself too seriously. Enjoy the journey because you don't want it to end.

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